And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
