Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
