Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
