i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
