You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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