So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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