ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
