Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
