I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's shark week go big or go home
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
