he shaved USA in his pubs
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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