so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
what day is it and did you see me today?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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