My nipple is on Facebook.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
