called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
