Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
