Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
