Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
