I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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