he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
