Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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