the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
