remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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