I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize