I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
