Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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