My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
