From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize