Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize