they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look