Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She was lying the whole time!

  (310): View more from California

  She was a great actress

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was a great dumbass

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  (248): She was lying the whole time! (310): She was a great actress (248): I was a great dumbass http://tfl.nu/8lxg
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I need help removing her.

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  (919): I need help removing her. http://tfl.nu/mzqp
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm..who the fuck is this?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh shit

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  (781): Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them? (617): Umm..who the fuck is this? (781): Oh shit http://tfl.nu/ik4c
  Replies (54) Good night (2246) Bad night (6559)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.

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  (403): you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off. http://tfl.nu/h9sg
  Replies (17) Good night (1591) Bad night (6520)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.

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  (502): battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever. http://tfl.nu/blg1
  Replies (4) Good night (4002) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.

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  (410): I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator. http://tfl.nu/m1m0
  Replies (10) Good night (1640) Bad night (3166)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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  (336): Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things. http://tfl.nu/s0f9
  Replies (23) Good night (4150) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.

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  (607): his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop. http://tfl.nu/p3uz
  Replies (10) Good night (3739) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"

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  (586): on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish" http://tfl.nu/8ky3
  Replies (10) Good night (3111) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing

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  (203): Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing http://tfl.nu/rf46
  Replies (2) Good night (1478) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.

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  (317): Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw. http://tfl.nu/a7sh
  Replies (18) Good night (896) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.

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  (+61): The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals. http://tfl.nu/0gao
  Replies (0) Good night (784) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm

  (561): View more from Florida

  Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots

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  (561): In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm (561): Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots http://tfl.nu/w2ja
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?

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  (843): Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me? http://tfl.nu/xg65
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning

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  (412): Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning http://tfl.nu/oois
  Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (516)

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