Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.