Wow word travels fast.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking