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My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
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