Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
