when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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