16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
