tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
