I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
