I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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