I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I looked at my own cervix.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
