Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
