I just cut my nipple shaving
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
