It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
