After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
