god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
