He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
