ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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