Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
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At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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