Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
