oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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