I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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