If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
