Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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