Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
