So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
