Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i drank out of a bidet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
