i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
