you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
