I puked a lego.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you will always have a special place in my vag
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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