I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
