I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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