S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
