party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
