so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize