I think my fart just growled at me.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
