bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
